Every day, society checks to see what we will tolerate. And every day, we lower our standards, cross our own boundaries, and accept things we find unacceptable. Usually, for our convenience.

As a person in Los Angeles, I will say, we tolerate the gas prices. Because it's easier to tolerate them than to figure out public transportation. So we say, “Yes, we will accept this obnoxiously high gas price,” while the CEOs and the shareholders make their money and show absurd profits. Meanwhile, the planet heats up and fires burn. 

We are being tested every single day on what we will tolerate. And we do tolerate some intolerable shit. Can’t blame us. We’re busy, stressed and financially terrified. 

Because of what we tolerate, we are participating in the creation of this weird world. And, no, that’s not to say it’s our fault. Not at all. However, the longer we tolerate this, the more complicit we become. Because we are forgetting that we do have options. They just might be inconvenient.

It’s really hard to change things without having some sort of stability, right? Because, when we are unstable, we are exhausted. Ever spend the day on a sailboat? Can’t say I do it very often because I get seasick. Big time. But, when I’m able to manage it, I come off that boat fucking exhausted. Completely depleted. And all I did was sit there. I wasn’t hoisting any sails or jibing any jibs. But we don’t realize how much our body is working to keep us steady on something that is perpetually not.

And that’s where we’re at. It’s sort of by design, if you ask me. The more instability there is, the less energy we have. It’s the payoff of causing chaos.

So, how can we shift it?

I suppose first ask, Where am I willing to be inconvenienced? And have a think on that. 

For me, it started with reusable bags. I leave them in the boot of my car. And, of course, in the beginning, I would forget them and then face two choices: 1) ask the checker to check me out slowly while I ran like a maniac to my car and back with the bags; or 2) buy new bags. Back then, I was still in my brokety-broke-broke-broke phase, so that was painful. I was also still in my shopping-at-Trader-Joe’s phase, and their bags weren’t too pricey. Thank gawd.

Eventually, those many, many, many reusable bags tore or the handles broke and, to replace them, I purchased canvas bags, both for groceries and produce. And now taking those bags into the store is a natural act.

I don’t drive on Saturdays. And that’s true 96.5% of the time. Once I run errands on Fridays, I don’t drive again until Sunday. If I make plans with friends, I either walk there or take public transit. Need to pick up something from the store or a package that came into the PMB? I walk.

Are either of those two examples change-the-world-level extraordinary? No. Of course not. They were ways where I learned to change despite the inconvenience, though.

So, what do we do about our food, which is both expensive and unsafe, and fuel being unaffordable? Our healthcare and medications being unaffordable? Housing being unaffordable? 

We have to inconvenience ourselves…and pick up the phone or a pen and paper or open an email message and tell our representatives what’s on our minds. And do that over and over and over again. That’s one option.

Another option is to vote like it matters, because it does. Inconvenience yourself by actually looking up the candidates, including the judges and the positions you know next to nothing about, all the propositions and measures, and make sound decisions. Because your vote is crucial. And not voting is a vote, and it’s damaging. Is this a boring task? Usually. But every once in a while you get some intel and are like daaaammmmmn, that was worth knowing. And, no, do not use A.I. for that. Seriously. Do not. Go to at least two if not three trusted sources, get more than one opinion, devour the facts and make your informed decisions.

Another way is to look into what companies own which products and who those companies give money to. This can bring on a serious case of the sads, which is inconvenient, but you walk away knowing who to give your money to with a clear conscience.

Spend less. Yes, it is inconvenient to not get what you want right when you want it, but, you know what? You might find that you really don’t need it, let alone want it, and you can take that money and put it into a High Yield Savings Account and watch your money grow. That results in less clutter and more joy.

You may not realize this, but we are voting each day, with every choice we make. What we spend, where we spend it, what we watch, what we subscribe to, what we wear, what we clean with, what we post, what we click on, what we like, what we share. It’s all being noted, stored and sold. Keep that in mind. 

When we take a step back and look at all the intolerable shit we’re tolerating, it’s truly overwhelming. It can feel like we are trapped. I suspect that’s the hoped for response. But if we take our eudaimonic wellbeing into consideration, and prioritize it, a lot of shift will happen. 

When we go inward and work on our authentic happiness, perspectives become clearer. Boundaries become stronger. Confidence grows. Resilience is real. And how you tolerate things is changed.

If you’ve been around me long enough, you know that I live in a teeny-tiny place. I downsized, big time, to a studio duplex, that’s now a triplex — and that ADU is even smaller than mine, if you could imagine. Was that move an inconvenience? Hell, yes! I had to sell almost everything from my old place to be able to afford to buy things that would fit into my new place. And I’ve lived in this new place for over 13 years. Is it inconvenient to have a big life in a small space? Hell, yes! But I tolerate that for several reasons. 

First, this place has given me wealth. It is cheap and utilities are included. And because it is cheap, I was able to pay off a solid five figures of debt and then save an amount that’s about to exceed the debt’s five figures. The plan is to stay here until I can buy a place with cash. 

Second, I love my neighborhood. It’s walkable, close enough to the beach that I get the cool breeze, far enough away from it that I don’t have to deal with tourist traffic. There are hills nearby that give me and my besties a fabulous urban hike route and we can land at one of many favorite restaurants to nourish ourselves at the end of it.

Third, I like the simple life. Once you downsize — which, I’m not gonna lie, is not only inconvenient, it’s challenging AF, because you have to give up A LOT — and have space limitations, you really come to understand the difference between a need and a want. And a convenience or a need. Your lifestyle becomes quality over quantity. Less really is more. More time, more money, more freedom. 

From the outside, some would say my choice is one they wouldn’t make. Too hard. Too much of a sacrifice. And, from the outside, I could almost see their point. But I’m living debt-free. I’m able to save. And that’s because I’m willing to be inconvenienced.

So, what are you tolerating that you find intolerable? How can you change that? Along with any inconvenience, it’s going to take some bravery, a little irritation, and a lot of badassery to accomplish. You can do it. I have no doubt. It won’t be easy or perfect at first, but it will be worth it.

Being inconvenienced is not a punishment. It’s being disrupty. It’s a choice. An opportunity to learn and evolve. It’s a way to show what you will not tolerate. And that will be noted. Be that kind of inconvenient rebel. xo