Think about it for a moment. Give it a good Scooby-Doo. Who benefits by you being unhappy? Because someone does. And it isn’t you.

And you know the impact being unhappy has in your life. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t get you anywhere. So, who benefits if you remain unhappy? 

When we are unhappy, we are compliant. We are stuck. We stick with the devil we know. Our nervous system has acclimated to this misery and has deemed it safe. How can something that makes us unhappy be safe? Because we are breathing and alive and that is safe. Our nervous system is basic AF.

So who benefits from our unhappiness? Our oppressors. Oooh. That’s a bold statement. But let’s think about that word. It sort of fits. Who benefits by holding us down, by making us afraid? 

For some of us, that starts with our parents or authority figures from our youth. They were quick to reprimand us and put us in our place. Be quiet. Knock it off. Learn to behave. Do as you’re told. You made me do this. I mean, if I was too happy, my mother made sure to fix that quick. She would deliver an insult or start a fight. So, I learned not to show all of my cards, keep some things to myself. We shouldn’t have to keep our happiness hidden, though.

As we get older it may be our employers, threatening our jobs if we don’t do what they want. In America, our health insurance is typically tied to our employment. So we feel stuck. No matter how unhappy we are there, we are safe. It’s the devil we know. 

How long have you stayed at a job that’s made you miserable because you’re told the job market is shit and you are lucky to have a job at all? Do you even test the waters to see if that’s true? If you’re like some of my friends, you don’t. All you need is one trusted source to believe that, yes, if they had a hard time finding a new job, you will, too. That’s not exactly good evidence, though. But it helps keep you stuck and unhappy, and likely paid less than you’re worth.

It might be the person we’re in a relationship with who is oppressing us. No one will love you like I will. You’ll never find anyone like me. You’re lucky I’m with you. Any of that sound familiar? And I’m trying to keep it mild here, without the triggers deeper threats may bring. Because we can imagine those menacing words meant to instill fear. To keep us in our place. To keep us under their control.

But here’s one more dysfunctional, and dare I say abusive, relationship we’re in: Capitalism. I know, another bold statement, right? But let’s consider it. Capitalism benefits when we are unhappy. We feel both powerless and protected by Capitalism, because we think we can prosper under it if we just do the right things. But, like any abuser, it keeps changing the rules to protect its power and limit ours. 

When we are unhappy, we buy more. When advertisers make us feel less-than, we consider that their products might change that. We are quick to seek answers outside of ourselves rather than going inward.

When we are unhappy, we feel powerless. We think we can’t change anything. We are stuck. And we are less inclined to vote or stand up for ourselves in other ways. Who benefits from that?

I get that talking about being happy right now sounds batshit. I do. Because the word isn’t well-received. It makes you sound foolish to be happy at a time like this. But when I say happiness is punk AF, I mean it. When I say it’s disrupty, that’s true. Think of something that’s more rebellious right now than nurturing happiness. Something that’s legal, anyway.

Anger and fear got us here. Being unhappy keeps us here. And the only way to flip that script is to be truly, authentically, eudaimonically happy. 

When you are happy, you are powerful AF. You have confidence and clarity. You aren’t a good consumer (Season 1, Episode 2) because you have cultivated what you need. You do stand up for what’s right and use your voice clearly, because you know you can. You leave situations that are not right for you, because you know how to stand in your power. And you teach your nervous system that growth is safe, positive change is safe. Happiness is safe.

Who benefits by you being happy? Not just you. The ripple effect is real. Relationships deepen. Trust deepens. You lead by example. And you feel pretty fucking great. 

Eudaimonic happiness is not fleeting. It leaves plenty of room for other emotions to dance and have their moment. The cool thing is that when you are enraged — as I often am — happiness is right there, as the foundation, holding you up. Those bad moods have a shorter lifespan. The resilience is real. And you start to notice what is worth indulging in and what isn’t. I love a good temper tantrum every now and then because they can be satisfying and cathartic. Pity parties aren’t worth attending, IMO. 

When you are happy, every emotion is felt and processed and honored. Emotions are messengers and teachers. So, yes, you can be happy and pissed off, happy and afraid, happy and disappointed. You just can’t be happy and hopeless. Those two emotions don’t gel, because happiness shows us that change is possible. That we do have a say in how things go. We can make a difference. And it starts by not being unhappy. 

Empower yourself with the ultimate wellness — happiness. You’ll feel the bennies right away. Being badass is one of them. Being disrupty is another.