HRP 006 Negativity Bias
One of the more effed up things about being human is how our brain works. Or maybe the malfunctions. For example: The Negativity Bias. This is where our wee melons decide to give more weight to negative information and experiences than positive ones. Talk about tipping the scale. 

And, to a point, I get it. We needed to be hyperaware of danger back when we were dragging our knuckles. But we aren’t now. Yes, we are living in a truly cruel and dangerous time at the moment. Which is why we need to be super cognizant of the negativity bias so we don’t ignore the positive. And, gawd, there’s no way that word doesn’t sound toxic right now, so bear with me here.

According to the National Academy of Sciences — which, somehow we still have, thankfully — negativity bias is described as:

“…the tendency for negative information and experiences to overwhelm the positive. In one study measuring how consumers reacted to positive or negative news, researchers found that the negative news ‘provoked stronger physiological reactions and garnered more attention than positive or neutral news on average — though individual people’s reactions varied quite a bit, with a minority of people responding more to positive news.’”

There will be a nifty link to that research article in the show notes. 

So, where do you land on the negativity bias spectrum? Are you quicker to get a hit from the doom and gloom, or are you able to let some good news in and balance the scales?

What we need to do, really, is create a new habit. Like we don’t have enough on our plates, right? But, believe it or not, negativity bias is a habit. We just feel it’s instinctual, that the certain doom we feel from it has deep merit. It doesn’t. It’s a bias. It’s a prejudice — as in pre-judgement; it’s a distortion, it’s an inclination. In other words a bad fucking habit to let our brains get away with.

I learned this during 9/11. Newspapers changed then — and, yes, back then, I got an actual paper delivered to my actual house. They took the whole “If it bleeds, it leads,” BS a step too far, in my opinion. So, I cancelled my subscription. 

I stopped watching the morning news. Remember, this was back when cable and TiVo were a thing. My alternative radio station read the headlines, so I wasn’t in the dark. 

And this is what I hope we all understand: You can be informed WITHOUT being overwhelmed. There is no trophy for overconsuming the information out there. But we’ll get to that.

Back then, things were awful, we were scared, and it seemed like the media wanted to keep us in that state. They bought into the negativity bias and trained their viewers and readers to live in it, rather than also tracking the not-awful stuff going on, because that exists. 

And I don’t mean the boring fluff stories they’d put on as filler. But wouldn’t it be neat if they respected us enough to get us engaged in our local politics, how school boards were operating, what was happening on the daily in our state capitol? Stuff that we’re more or less told was uninteresting and unimportant. It’s still stuff we needed to know. It’s stuff we need to know now. But are you interested?

Here’s the thing: When you’ve been fed processed foods for most of your life, you won’t have a taste for what will nourish you. You find it gross and refuse to consume it. 

This is how information has been fed to us since birth. We get the processed version and don’t know how to ingest what will nourish.

Let’s speed this up a little. When it came to the 2016 election, I turned off the TV, went to sleep and let my boyfriend-at-the-time break the news to me the next morning. “Steve said, ‘How bad could it be?’” he offered, as if that would soften the blow. Steve is his right-leaning bestie. Steve is too smart to be a moron, but let’s call him that anyway. Because I knew how bad it was going to be. All of us paying attention knew how bad it was going to be. And during that version of hell,  I let myself take all of it in, I fully absorbed it and while I didn’t put all that anger and fear and sorrow back out into the world — much — it weighed me down. It diminished my spirit. It had not only a mental and an emotional impact, but a physical one as well.

Let me tell you, much to my shock and dismay, that my anger, sadness, rage and grief did absolutely nothing to move the needle. Those emotions did not help anyone else or lessen others’ anger, sadness, grief or rage. It only hurt me. 

All of those emotions were and are valid. But they don’t need to be held onto like a protest sign. They have to be processed or they do harm.

Back in 2019, when Twitter was still more-or-less Twitter, I followed both Smart Twitter and Funny Twitter. So, when the rumblings of a pandemic stirred, I relied on Smart Twitter to inform me, and Funny Twitter to keep me sane. And thanks to both of them, I remain a NOVID to this day, with most of my marbles intact. 

We all have our jobs during a crisis. Not everyone plays the same role. Do you follow?

We get to choose how we operate during this crisis. Let me clarify that a little further: We get to choose how we operate during this crisis as long as it is managed in a healthy manner. 

Feel what you need to feel and process that feeling fully. Then feel free to let it go. Your emotions are not a protest sign. You do not have to hold them all day every day to show people how engaged you are or wear them like a t-shirt. The people who love you, the people that matter, already know. 

Okay, now that we’ve covered choosing our roles and processing our emotions, let’s think about how we take in information. And, also that whole eudaimonic wellbeing thing I tend to drone on about. But I do that because it really is life-changing and soul-saving.

If you are more susceptible to negativity, maybe choose how you can take in information in a way that’s better suited for you. Yes, stay informed. That is important. Informed is different than overwhelmed. Can you feel that? Being informed doesn’t need to be overwhelming.

I quit Twitter a long time ago and deleted my account a while back as well, but I will be forever thankful for Smart and Funny Twitter for saving and educating me. They were the best of the best. As much as I want to leave it, I am on IG and I have trained the algorithm to give me good, factual, informative political content, as well as dogs and cats doing silly shit. Oh, and baby goats. Can’t get enough of baby goats, and fainting goats. I get to be informed and educated, and then I get to laugh. I don’t have to spiral in the neg. I refuse to doom scroll. Even though I subscribe to two newspapers and four magazines, and get all of their notifications. I want to know what’s going on and how I can help. I also want to be able to function.

Because, again, if my upset helped anyone, of course I would be upset all the time. All the time. But that doesn’t help anyone at all. It really and truly does not. We don’t make good decisions when we are upset. Think of the ones you’ve made when you are losing it. Any regrets there?

I feel my feelings, process them and have a clear enough perspective to see the good that continues to move through all the shit. And that’s important to see.

They want us scared and angry and sad. More than that, they want us feeling hopeless and helpless. And some believe they can profit off of our negativity bias. 

Defy that to the max!!! Break the habit. Train your brain to crave other stuff. Goats are a great entry drug to a feel-better feed.

This isn’t denial. This isn’t pretending it will all work out on its own. And this sure as shit isn’t toxic positivity. This is balance. 

If we continue in a negativity spiral, all that will do is make us unwell. Instead, with balance, we can find our footing. We can fortify our eudaimonic wellbeing. Being happy is the last thing they expect. 

I’ll ask it again: Who do you think is stronger: An angry person or a happy one? 

Negativity bias is a habit we can break. We can train our brains to respond to the good. This is also part of regulating our nervous systems. And you know what does that naturally? Being fucking happy. I know. Annoying, right? Eudaimonic wellbeing is true well-being. Happiness is a super power. And it’s punk AF. 

It is political. It’s fucking defiance at this point. It is the inflatable Portland frog, hip-wiggling the bad guys back.

Be cognizant of what you are consuming, the intention of how it’s being dished out to you and what that intention may serve. Choose your sources well. Really smart people have a delicious sense of humor, so find some sources that can inform you without trying to ruin you in the process. 

This is a dark time. There’s no getting around that. And I’m so glad I learned about eudaimonic wellbeing when I did. Because I don’t know how I would be managing this time right now if I didn’t. The first version of this left its mark. I don’t want anyone else to go through this version without some savage self-protecting skills. 

So, how do we break the bias? Decide to take time each day — like dedicated time — to do something you enjoy. Watch something that will lighten your heart and make you laugh. Spend time with friends who cause you to toss your head back and cackle. Go for a walk. Dance. Sing. But do this each day. Put a fucking reminder in your phone if you have to. Schedule it like it’s an important appointment. Because it is.

And the other thing — and I know you’re going to love this — is appreciation. Yep. It’s a fucking elixir of alchemy. 

It may not seem that there’s much to appreciate right now. And I’m not trying to blow smoke up your you-know-what. But, as gross as it sounds, there’s always something to appreciate. Is the sky blue? Is your heat on? Is your coffee good? We take things for granted or ignore the wonderful in our lives. And, yes, my homemade matcha coconut latte is fucking wonderful. Be thankful for the good parking you scored. Be thankful for the deep breath you took in. Be thankful that people are starting to wake the eff up to what they’ve been a part of. Slowly. But it’s happening. 

Be thankful for the courage we are witnessing, and for the compassion. Be thankful you can still call your representatives and give them a piece of your mind. Be thankful that you can still protest and wear a t-shirt. 

Put the key focus on what is good, not what isn’t. What you do have, not what you don’t. Set your bias a little more toward the positive. Start to see that. Where the attention goes, energy flows. And, no, that’s not Tony Robbins. Gross. It’s James Redfield from The Celestine Prophecy. And that is part of our RAS or the Reticular Activating System.

This is another place where science and woo collide. The RAS is a network of neurons in the brainstem — the medulla, pons and midbrain — that functions as a filter. This is like when you decide you want a certain something (cars are a good example of this, especially if you’re in LA), like a red Porsche 911, because maybe I do, and then suddenly you see a red 911 every time you’re on the road. Without realizing it, you’ve instructed your brain to seek them out. It’s not a magic trick, it’s brain management.

If you set your filter to max out on the neg early — like at a low level — and then start giving your attention to more enjoyable, upbeat, positive things, you will have balance. Still informed. Still feeling and processing the emotions. Still taking action. With balance.

Deciding to dedicate time to seeing the good isn’t any sort of moral failing. It’s what will keep our humanity healthy and vibrant. It will stop us from being angry and doing things we might regret. Like missing the opportunity to be kind to someone who needs it. Including ourselves.

And the negativity bias doesn’t just affect us from the outside. We are super fucking quick to focus on the neg when it comes to what we think and believe about ourselves. Stop it. When you find yourself in that spiral, focus on all of your achievements, your talents, your goodness. Stop defaulting on the negative crap and let you see yourself shine from time to time.

Find the balance by removing the bias.